Hyrulian Nights
by The Missing Link1
Summary: A Zelda crossover of the Disney movie Aladdin
1. Prologue

Hyrulian Nights

Hyrulian Nights

Prologue

**HAPPY MASK SALESMAN:**_(singing)_

Oh I come from a land

From a faraway place

Where the caravan horses roam

Where they cut off you ear

If they don't like your face

It's barbaric, but hey, it's home.

When the wind's at your back

And the sun's from the west

And the sand in the glass is right

Come on down,

Stop on by,

Hop an owl and fly

To another Hyrulian night!

Hyrulian nights

Like Hyrulian days

More often than not

You'll be in a rough spot

In a lot of good ways

Hyrulian nights

'Neath Hyrulian moons

A fool off his guard

Could fall and fall hard

Out there on the dunes.

Ah, Salaam and good evening to you worthy friend.Please, please, come closer..._(Camera zooms in hitting Salesman in the face.)_Too close, a little too close._(Camera zooms back out from Salesman.)_There.Welcome to Hyrule.City of mystery, of enchantment, and the finest merchandise the side of the river Zora, on sale today, come on down!Heh, heh.Look at this!Yes!Combination hookah and coffee maker... also makes Julienne fries.Will not break, will not..._(Taps it on table and it falls apart.)_It broke.Ooohhh!Look at this!_(Pulls out Tupperware)_I have never seen one of these intact before.This is the famous Lake Hylia Tupperware.Listen._(Pries it open, makes raspberry sound.)_Ah, still good._(Camera begins to pan to right.Salesman hurries to catch it.)_Wait, don't go!_(Pan stops.)_I can see that you're only interested in the exceptionally rare.I think then, you would be most rewarded to consider... this._(Salesman pulls out the Triforce out from its sleeve.)_Do not be fooled by its commonplace appearance.Like so many things, it is not what is outside, but what is inside that counts._(Another pan, this one slower to the left.Again, Salesman rushes to catch up.)_This is no ordinary triangle!It once changed the course of a young man's life.A young man, who like this triangle was more than what he seemed.A rupee in the rough.Perhaps you would like to hear the tale?_(Salesman picks up some shiny sand in his hand.)_It begins on a dark night, _(Salesman throws sand into the sky, where it forms a starry nightscape.)_ where a dark man waits, with a dark purpose.


	2. The Desert Collosus

Hyrulian Nights

Hyrulian Nights

Scene 1:The Desert Colossus

_(Camera tilts down to find Ganondorf sitting on his horse and Kaepora Gaebora on his shoulder.Agahnim comes riding up to the pair.)_

**GANONDORF:**You... are late.

**AGAHNIM:**A thousand apologies, O patient one.

**GANONDORF:**You have it, then?

**AGAHNIM:**I had to slit a few throats to get it._(Pulls out the Spiritual Stone of the Forest.Ganondorf reaches out for it, but Agahnim yanks it back.)_Ah, ah, ah!The treasure!_(Kaepora hoots as he flies by and grabs the stone.)_Ouch!

**GANONDORF:**Trust me, my pungent friend.You'll get what's coming to you.

**KAEPORA:**What's coming to you!Hoot!

_(Ganondorf pulls out the other two Spiritual Stones.He places them together, and the stones begin to glow.Finally, they fly out of Ganondorf's hand, scaring the horses, and are off towards the dunes.)_

**GANONDORF:**Quickly, follow the trail!

_(All ride off, following the glowing specks of light, until they reach a large dune.They separate into three and the stones plunge into the dune.All that remains are three glowing points of light on the dune.But then the dune begins to rise up, transforming into a giant lion's head, with the glowing points serving as the eyes.)_

**GANONDORF:**At last, after all my years of searching, the Sacred Realm!

**KAEPORA:**Hoot!Sacred Realm!

**AGAHNIM:**By Din!

**GANONDORF:**Now, remember!Bring me the Triforce.The rest of the treasure is yours, but the Triforce is mine!

_(Agahnim starts to approach the lion's mouth, which forms the entrance to the realm.He chuckles as he goes.)_

**KAEPORA:**Hoot, the Triforce!Hoot, the Triforce!_(Now that Kaepora and Ganondorf are alone, Kaepora opens up in normal Hyrulian.)_Jeez, where'd ya dig this bozo up?

_(Ganondorf puts his finger to his lips and shushes him.Agahnim reaches the realm, but is blown away by the roar of the realm's speaking.)_

**SACRED REALM:**Who disturbs my slumber?

**AGAHNIM:**It is I, Agahnim, a humble wizard.

**SACRED REALM:**Know this.Only one may enter here.One whose worth lies far within.A rupee in the rough.

_(Agahnim turns to Ganondorf with a questioning look.)_

**GANONDORF:**What are you waiting for?Go on!

_(Agahnim hesitates, then moves one foot inside the cave.With great apprehension, he plants his foot down.Nothing happens.Relieved, he begins his trek again.Then another roar comes.He turns back, but the lion's mouth slams shut and the dune collapses back to normal.All that are left are Ganondorf, Kaepora, and the three Spiritual Stones.)_

**SACRED REALM:**Seek thee out, the rupee in the rough.

_(Kaepora unburies himself from the sand, coughing as he does so.)_

**KAEPORA:**I can't believe it.I just don't believe it.We're never gonna get a hold of that stupid triangle!Just forget it.Look at this.Look at this.I'm so ticked off that my feathers are falling out!_(He files up to Ganondorf's shoulder.)_

**GANONDORF:**Patience, Kaepora.Patience.Agahnim was obviously less than worthy.

**KAEPORA:**_(Extremely sarcastically)_Oh, there's a big surprise.That's an incred... I think I'm gonna have a heart attack and die from not surprise!What're we gonna do?We got a big prob..._(Ganondorf pinches his mouth shut.)_

**GANONDORF:**Yes, we do.Only one may enter.I must find this one, this... rupee in the rough.


	3. One Step Ahead

Hyrulian Nights

Hyrulian Nights

Scene 2:One Step Ahead

_(Cut to a rooftop, where Link rushes up to the edge, carrying a bottled fish.He almost drops it over the edge.)_

**CASTLE GUARD:**Stop, thief!I'll have your hands for a trophy, you faerie boy!

**LINK:**_(Looks back, then down, then at the bottled fish.)_All this for a bottled fish?

_(He jumps off, landing on two ropes strung between buildings, with drying clothes on them.He skies down them, collecting bits and pieces of clothing on him as he goes.Finally, he's nearing the end of the rope, at a window, when a woman reaches out and slams the shutters closed.Link slams into the shutters and falls to the street, his fall being broken by numerous awnings and the pile of clothes around him.He pulls off the top layer of clothes and is about to enjoy his fish.)_

**GUARD 1:**There he is!

**GUARD 2:**You won't get away so easy!

**LINK:**You think that was easy?

_(He looks at three women, laughing at him.)_

**GUARD 1:**You two, over that way, and you, with me.We'll find him.

_(Link pulls a sheet over him and wraps himself as a disguise.He rushes over to Saria and some Kokiri ladies.)_

**LINK:**Morning, ladies.

**SARIA:**Getting into trouble a little early today, aren't we Link?

**LINK:**Trouble?No way.You're only in trouble if you get caught...

_(A hand grabs Link's shoulder and yanks him back.It's the first guard.Link's disguise falls off.)_

**LINK:**I'm in trouble!

**GUARD:**...and this time..._(A tinkling sound from Navi, then the guard's helmet is pulled down over his eyes.Navi dances on the guard's head, laughing.)_

**LINK:**Perfect timing, Navi!

**NAVI:**Hello!

**LINK:**Come on, let's get outta here!_(starts singing)_

Gotta keep... one jump ahead of the breadline

One swing ahead of the sword

I steal only what I can't afford

That's everything

_(Link battles a guard wielding the a sword.He dodges a couple swings, then pulls down the guard's pants.Navi raspberries the guard, then dodges an attack.The guard swings at Link, but destroys a barrel of fish.As Link runs off, the guard pulls a fish over his lower body as a pair of pants.)_

One jump ahead of the lawmen

That's all, and that's no joke

These guys don't appreciate I'm broke!

_(Link and Navi scamper up a pile of barrels, then kick one down on top of another guard.)_

**GUARDS:**_(one at a time)_Riffraff!Faerie boy!

Scoundrel!Destroy!

**LINK:**Just a little snack, guys!

_(Link scampers to the top of a platform.The guards shake the platform back and forth trying to knock him off.)_

**GUARDS:**Rip him open, take it back, guys!

**LINK:**I can take a hint, gotta face the facts

You're my only friend, Navi!

**WOMEN:**She?

_(Link jumps off the platform to certain death, only to grab Navi.They fly over to a harem.)_

Oh, it's sad that Link has hit the bottom

He's become a one-man rise in crime

_(Navi finds a plate full of fruit and stuffs her mouth full like a chipmunk.)_

**MALON:**I'd blame parents, except he hasn't got 'em!

**LINK:**Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat

Tell you all about it when I got the time!

_(Link and Navi exit.Cut to Darunia flexing to a crowd.The guards rush past.Cut to Link and Navi behind Darunia, matching his moves until they make a mistake and are discovered.)_

One jump ahead of the slowpokes

One skip ahead of my doom

Next time gonna use a nom de plume.

One jump ahead of the hit men

One hit ahead of the flock

I think I'll take a stroll around the block.

_(A chase sequence, in which Link and Navi, pursued by the guards, race through a flock of Cuccos, hurdle Mr. Disgusting sleeping on a bed of nails.One extremely large guards lands on him.Navi disguises herself with jewels until the shopkeeper discovers her.)_

**CROWD:**Stop, thief!Vandal!

Outrage!Scandal!

**LINK:**Let's not be too hasty

_(Link is surrounded by guards in front of a door.The door opens and Madame Aroma comes out.)_

**AROMA:**Still I think he's rather tasty

_(Link tumbles away, then puts his arm around a guard, acting like they're chums.)_

**LINK:**Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat

Otherwise we'd get along!

**GUARDS:**Wrong!

_(They all jump into a pile and fight.When the stop, Link and Navi are gone.They are sneaking away in barrels.They run across a flaming pit, followed by guards who hop up and down, screaming in pain as they cross the rocks.Link and Navi pass Sakon, a sword swallower.Navi goes back, pulls the sword out of Sakon's mouth.Navi advances on the guards, who retreat in fear.)_

**GUARD 1:**She's got a sword!

**GUARD 2:**You idiot, we've all got swords!!

_(Navi sets the sword down gently, then flies away.Link and Navi are once again surrounded, with guards coming from left and right.He jumps up and climbs rope trick being done on the street, as the guards all crash into each other.)_

**LINK:**One jump ahead of the hoof beats!

**CROWD:**Vandal!

**LINK:**One hop ahead of the flock!

**CROWD:**Faerie boy!

**LINK:**One trick ahead of disaster

**CROWD:**Scoundrel!

**LINK:**They're quick, but I'm much faster

**CROWD:**Destroy!

(The guards chase Link up a staircase into a room.He grabs a carpet and jumps out the window.)

**LINK:**Here goes, better throw my hand in

Wish me happy landin'

All I gotta do is jump!

_(The guards follow him out the window, but they go straight down to the street and land in a pile with the sign "Ingo's Discount Fertilizer."Link uses the carpet as a parachute to land safely and out of danger.Link and Navi high-five each other.)_


	4. Rags Versus Riches

Hyrulian Nights

Hyrulian Nights

Scene 3:Rags Versus Riches

**LINK:**And now, esteemed effendi, we feast!All right!

_(Link cuts the fish in two and gives half to Navi, who begins to eat.But Link looks over and sees two young forest children rummaging through garbage for food.Mido sees him, then drops his find, then looks at Navi.)_

**NAVI:**Uh-oh!

_(Navi takes a big bite of her food, but Link gets up and walks over to the children.Mido pulls his sister back.)_

**LINK:**Here, go on, take it.

_(The children giggle with delight.Navi tries to swallow her bite, then looks guilty.She walks over to the children and offers her fish to them.In delight, they pet her on the head.)_

**NAVI:**Ah, don't.Huh?

_(Navi sees Link walking into the daylight, where there is a parade going on.Link peers over the shoulders of people.He sees Mayor Doutour riding on a horse.)_

**BYSTANDER 1:**On his way to the palace, I suppose.

**BYSTANDER 2:**Another suitor for the princess.

_(Link is startled as the two children come running out from the alley.Mido runs out in front of Dotour's horse, startling it.)_

**DOTOUR:**Out of my way, you filthy brat!

_(Dotour brings up his whip to attack the children, but Link jumps in front of them and catches the whip.)_

**LINK:**Hey, if I were as rich as you, I could afford some manners.

**DOTOUR:**Oh, I'll teach you some manners!

_(Dotour kicks Link into a mud puddle.The crowd laughs at him.)_

**LINK:**Look at that, Navi.It's not every day you see a horse with two rear ends!

_(Dotour stops and turns back to Link.)_

**DOTOUR:**You are a worthless faerie boy.You were born a faerie boy, you'll die a faerie boy, and only bugs will mourn you.

_(Link rushes Dotour, but the gate to the castle slams shut in his face.)_

**LINK:**I'm not worthless.And I don't have bugs.Come on, Navi.Let's go home.

_(Link makes the climb to his home with the view, then tucks in Navi for the night.)_

**LINK:**_(singing to himself)_

Riffraff, faerie boy.

All a decoy.

If only they'd look closer

Would they see a poor boy?No siree.

They'd find out, there's some much more to me.

_(He pulls back a curtain to reveal the beautiful palace.)_

**LINK:**Someday, Navi, things are gonna change.We'll be rich, live in a palace, and never have any problems at all.

_(Dissolve to same shot during day.Cut to the inside of the King's chamber.The door bursts open, and Mayor Dotour storms in, missing the rear end of his pants.)_

**DOTOUR:**I've never been so insulted!

**KING:**Oh, Mayor Dotour.You're not leaving so soon, are you?

**DOTOUR:**Good luck marrying her off!

**KING:**Oh, Zelda!Zelda!Zelda!_(The King goes off into the garden looking for his daughter.He finds her, but is interrupted by Impa, Zelda's pet wolfos, who blocks him off.Impa has a piece of Dotour's underpants in her mouth.The King grabs the cloth and yanks it out of Impa's mouth.)_Confound it, Impa!So, this is why Mayor Dotour stormed out!

**ZELDA:**Oh father.Impa was just playing with him, weren't you, Impa._(Impa comes over and allows Zelda to pet and hug her.)_You were just playing with that overdressed, self-absorbed Mayor Dotour, weren't you?_(See cuddles with Impa, enjoying the moment, until she looks up at her angry father.)_Ahem.

**KING:**Dearest, you've got to stop rejecting every suitor that comes to call.The law says you...

**BOTH:**...must be married to royalty.

_(They walk over to a dove cage.)_

**KING:**By your next birthday.

**ZELDA:**The law is wrong.

**KING:**You've only got three more days!

**ZELDA:**Father, I hate being forced into this._(She takes a dove out of the cage and pets it.)_If I do marry, I want it to be for love.

**KING:**Zelda, it's not only this law._(She hands him the dove, and he puts it back in the cage.)_I'm not going to be around forever, and I just want to make sure you're taken care of, provided for.

**ZELDA:**Try to understand.I've never done a thing on my own._(She swirls her finger in the water of the pond, petting the fish.)_I've never had any real friends._(Impa looks up at her and growls.)_Except you, Impa._(Satisfied, she goes back to sleep.)_I've never even been outside the palace walls.

**KING:**But Zelda, you're a princess.

**ZELDA:**Then maybe I don't want to be a princess._(She splashes the water.)_

**KING:**Oooohhh!Nayru forbid you should have any daughters!

_(Impa looks up and thinks for a second.Zelda goes to the dove cage and yanks open the door.The birds fly off into freedom.She watches them go.Cut to inside the King's chambers.)_

**KING:**I don't know where she gets it from.Her mother wasn't nearly so picky._(A shadow falls over him.He looks up startled and sees Ganondorf.)_Ooh, oh.Ah, Ganondorf, my most trusted advisor.I am in desperate need of your wisdom.

**GANONDORF:**My life is but to serve you, my lord._(He bows.)_

**KING:**It's the suitor business.Zelda refuses to choose a husband.I'm at my wit's end.

**KAEPORA:**Hoot!Wit's end.

**KING:**Oh, ha, ha.Have a cracker, pretty birdie!_(He pulls a cracker out from his pocket.Kaepora looks terrified.Then the King stuffs it in Kaepora's mouth.Kaepora grimaces as he tries to eat it.Ganondorf and the King both laugh.)_

**GANONDORF:**Your majesty certainly has a way with dumb animals._(Kaepora glares at him.)_Now then, perhaps I can divide a solution to this thorny problem.

**KING:**If anyone can help, it's you.

**GANONDORF:**Ah, but it would require the use of the mystic blue stone.

**KING:**The Pendant of Wisdom?But it's been in the family for years.

**GANONDORF:**It is necessary to find the princess a suitor._(Ganondorf says the word 'princess' with the accent on the second syllable, 'cess.'He turns his staff with a pig's head towards the King.The eyes of the staff begin to glow.The room darkens; Ganondorf's voice slows down and deepens.The King's eyes get a hypnotized look.)_Don't worry.Everything will be fine.

**KING:**Everything... will be... fine.

**GANONDORF:**The pendant.

**KING:**Here, Ganondorf.Whatever you need will be fine.

_(The King removes his pendant and hands it to Ganondorf.The room returns to normal as Ganondorf pulls back the staff.)_

**GANONDORF:**You are most gracious, my liege.Now run along and play with your little toys.

**KING:**_(Still hypnotized)_Yes... that'll be... pretty good.

_(Ganondorf and Kaepora exit.The camera follows them.When they're out of the room, Kaepora spits out the cracker.)_

**KAEPORA:**I can't take it anymore!If I gotta choke down on one more of those moldy, disgusting crackers... bam!Whack!

_(Ganondorf pulls a rope, which reveals a hidden entrance to his chambers.)_

**GANONDORF:**Calm yourself, Kaepora.

**KAEPORA:**Then I'd grab him around the head.Whack!Whack!

**GANONDORF:**_(Speaking over Kaepora.)_Soon, I will be king, not that addle-patted twit.

**KAEPORA:**And then I stuff the crackers down his throat!Ha, ha!

_(The pair pass through a door and slam it shut.Dissolve to the castle gardens at night.A shadowy figure walks through.Zelda is in disguise.She reaches the palace wall, then begins to climb it. She is tugged from behind by Impa.)_

**ZELDA:**Oh, I'm sorry, Impa.But I can't stay here and have my life lived for me.I'll miss you._(She begins to climb again, and is helped up by Impa, who begins to whine and whimper.)_Good bye!_(She disappears over the wall.)_


	5. The Princess and the Pauper

Hyrulian Nights

Hyrulian Nights

Scene 4:The Princess and the Pauper

_(Cut to daytime on the street.Link and Navi are up to their capers again.They are on top of the awning of a fruit stand.)_

**LINK:**Okay, Navi.Go!

_(Navi dips over the edge and looks at the Salesman.)_

**SALESMAN:**_(To passing crowd)_Try this, your taste buds will dance and sing._(Navi grabs a melon and hovers there, distracting his attention.)_Hey, get your wings off that.

**NAVI:**Blah, blah, blah!

**SALESMAN:**Why, you!Get away from here, you filthy faerie!

_(He grabs the melon away from Navi.But in the foreground, Link dips down and snatches another melon from the stand.)_

**NAVI:**Bye-bye!

_(She zings back up.The Salesman takes the melon to the front, where he places it on top of a stack.He looks confused, like he has just done this.)_

**LINK:**Nice goin' Navi.Breakfast is served.

_(Link and Navi on the roof break open the melon and eat.Zelda is walking through the street.)_

**SHOPKEEPER 1:**Pretty lady, buy a pot.No finer pot in brass or silver.

**SHOPKEEPER 2:**Sugar dates, sugar dates and figs!Sugar dates and pistachios!

**SHOPKEEPER 3:**Would the lady like a necklace? A pretty necklace for a pretty lady.

_(She is charmed by the action, but is startled by a fish thrust into her face.)_

**SHOPKEEPER 4:**Fresh fish!We catch 'em, you buy 'em!

**ZELDA:**I don't think so._(She backs away, but bumps into a fire eater, who is startled into swallowing his fire.)_Oh, excuse me._(He gulps, then belches fire from his mouth.Zelda is disgusted.He his pleased and taps his stomach.Link sees her, and a strange look comes over his face.)_I'm really very sorry.

**LINK:**_(obviously deeply in love with her)_Wow!

_(She pulls the hood of her cloak over her head.Navi sees him and jumps up on his shoulder, waving her hand in front of Link's face.)_

**NAVI:**Uh oh.Hello?Hello?

_(Zelda stops at the fruit stand and sees a young homeless child reaching for a piece of fruit.She picks one up and gives it to him.)_

**ZELDA:**Oh, you must be hungry.Here you go._(The boy runs off.)_

**SALESMAN:**You'd better be able to pay for that.

**ZELDA:**_(Mystified)_Pay?

**SALESMAN:**No one steals from my cart!

**ZELDA:**Oh, I'm sorry sir.I don't have any money.

**SALESMAN:**Thief!

**ZELDA:**Please, if you let me go to the castle, I can get some from the King.

**SALESMAN:**Do you know what the penalty is for stealing?

_(He takes her hand and pins it down on the table, intending to chop it off.)_

**ZELDA:**No, no please!

_(The sword drops, but his hand is stopped by Link's.)_

**LINK:**Thank you kind sir.I'm so glad you've found her.I've been looking all over for you.

**ZELDA:**_(whispering)_What are you doing?

**LINK:**_(whispering back)_Just play along.

**SALESMAN:**You know this girl?

**LINK:**Sadly, yes.She is my sister.She's a little crazy._(He circles his finger around his ear.She is shocked.The Salesman grabs him by the vest.)_

**ZELDA:**She said she knows the King!

**LINK:**She thinks the faerie is the King.

_(Navi is picking a pocket.She hears this, then straightens up.Zelda, playing along, kneels and bows to Navi.)_

**ZELDA:**Oh, wise King.How may I serve you?

**NAVI:**Well, blah, blah, blah, blah.

**LINK:**Tragic, isn't it?_(He leans forward, picking up another apple from the cart with his foot.)_But, no harm done._(Walks over to Zelda.)_Now come along, sis.Time to see the doctor.

**ZELDA:**_(To a horse standing nearby)_Oh, hello doctor.How are you?

**LINK:**No, no, no.Not that one._(To Navi, who's stolen some things)_Come on, King.

_(Navi bows to the crowd and everything she's stolen from the cart falls onto the ground.)_

**SALESMAN:**Huh?What is it?_(Navi picks up what she can carry, and the trio runs off.)_Come back here, you little thieves!

_(Cut to Ganondorf's lab.Kaepora is running on a gear in a bizarre contraption.At the top of the contraption is a storm brewing.)_

**KAEPORA:**_(huffing and puffing)_With all due respect, you rottenness, couldn't we just wait for a real storm?

**GANONDORF:**Save your breath, Kaepora.Faster!_(He places the King's pendant in the contraption.)_

**KAEPORA:**Yes, oh mighty, evil one.

_(Kaepora runs faster.A lightning bolt streaks through the pendant, passing into an hourglass below.The sands begin to swirl.)_

**GANONDORF:**Ah, sands of time, reveal to me the one who can enter the realm._(The sand in top forms the Sacred Realm.It falls through into a storm, but it shows Link climbing a ladder, followed by Zelda who is covered in her cloak.)_Yes, yes!There he is.My rupee in the rough!

**KAEPORA:**That's him?!?!That's the clown we've been waitin' for?_(Kaepora loses his footing and is sucked into the gears.)_

**GANONDORF:**Let's have the guards extend him an invitation to the palace, shall we?

_(Kaepora goes flying past and slams into the wall upside down.)_

**KAEPORA:**Swell.

_(Ganondorf laughs hideously, and the camera zooms in on the sandstorm with Link in it.Finally, we dissolve into the real Link climbing to the top of the ladder, followed by Zelda.)_


	6. Sitting on Top of the World

Hyrulian Nights

Hyrulian Nights

Scene 5:Sitting on Top of the World

**LINK:**Almost there.

_(Zelda climbs over the top, but trips and falls into Link's arms.She stands up.)_

**ZELDA:**I want to thank you for stopping that man.

**LINK:**Uh, forget it._(He grabs a pole.)_So, uh, this is your first time in the marketplace, huh?

_(Link pole vaults to the next building, leaving Zelda behind.)_

**ZELDA:**Is it that obvious?

**LINK:**Well, you do kinda stand out._(He stares at her, still in love.She returns the look.But he realizes what he is doing, and returns to normal.)_I mean, uh, you don't seem to know how dangerous Hyrule can me._(He lays a plank between the buildings for her to walk over, but as he is leaned down, she vaults over his head.He looks back in surprise.She tosses the pole to him.Both Link's and Navi's eyes bulge.)_

**ZELDA:**I'm a fast learner.

**LINK:**Right.C'mon this way._(They go inside the roof of a building, dodging planks and beams as they go.)_Whoa.Watch your head there.Be careful.

**ZELDA:**Is this where you live?

**LINK:**Yep.Just me and Navi.Come and go as we please.

**ZELDA:**Fabulous.

**LINK:**Well, it's not much, _(He pulls back the curtain and exposes the castle.)_ but it's got a great view.Castle looks pretty amazing, huh?

**ZELDA:**Oh, it's wonderful.

**LINK:**I wonder what it would be like to live there, to have servants and valets...

**ZELDA:**Oh, sure.People who tell you where to go and how to dress.

**LINK:**It's better than here.Always scraping for food and ducking the guards.

**ZELDA:**You're not free to make your own choices.

**LINK:**Sometimes you feel so...

**ZELDA:**You're just...

**BOTH:**_(in unison)_ trapped.

_(They look at each other, realizing that they're perfect for one another.But Link then realizes where he is, and breaks the look.He takes the apple out of Navi's hand and rolls it down his arm into the hand of Zelda.)_

**LINK:**So, where're you from?

**ZELDA:**What does it matter?I ran away, and I am not going back.

**LINK:**Really?_(He takes a bite from the apple in his hand, then hands it to Navi, who has a disgusted look on her face.)_

**NAVI:**Why you!

_(Link walks over and sits next to Zelda.)_

**ZELDA:**My father's forcing me to get married.

**LINK:**That's... that's awful._(Navi appears from behind the princess and tries to steal the apple.)_Navi!

_(Navi races up to a higher point, jingling and cursing as she goes.)_

**ZELDA:**What?

**LINK:**Navi says that... uh... that's not fair.

**NAVI:**What?

**ZELDA:**Oh did she?

**LINK:**Yeah, of course.

**ZELDA:**And does Navi have anything else to say?

**LINK:**Well, uh, she wishes there was something she could do to help.

**NAVI:**Oh, Din!

**ZELDA:**Hmm, tell her that's very sweet.

_(Link and Zelda have been getting closer and closer, until Link leans in to kiss her.He is interrupted, however, by the guards who have found them.)_

**GUARD:**Here you are!

**LINK and ZELDA:**They've found me!_(To each other)_They're after you?

**ZELDA:**My father must have sent them...

**LINK:**Do you trust me?

**ZELDA:**What?

**LINK:**Do you trust me?_(He extends his hand.)_

**ZELDA:**Yes._(She takes it.)_

**LINK:**Then jump!

_(They both jump off the roof, fall and land in a pile of salt.They try to get away, but the exit is blocked by a guard.)_

**GUARD:**We just keep running into each other, don't we, faerie boy?

_(Again, the guard's helmet is pulled down by Navi, but more guards are here and block the exit.The first guard pulls Navi off his head and throws her in a vase.The other guards grab Link.)_

**GUARD:**It's the dungeon for you, boy.

**LINK:**Hey, get off of me!

**ZELDA:**Let go of him.

**GUARD:**_(Not realizing she is the princess)_Look what we have here, men... a faerie girl._(He throws her down.)_

**ZELDA:**_(Standing up and pulling off the hood of her cloak)_Unhand him, by order of the princess.

_(The guards suddenly stop and bow, forcing Link to bow as well.)_

**GUARD:**Princess Zelda.

**LINK:**The princess?

**NAVI:**_(peeking out from the vase)_The princess?

**GUARD:**What are you doing outside the palace?And with this faerie boy?

**ZELDA:**That's not your concern.Do as I command.Release him!

**GUARD:**Well, I would, princess, but my orders come from Ganondorf.You'll have to take it up with him.

_(The guards drag Link out, bowing as they go.)_

**ZELDA:** _(with a very angry look)_Believe me, I will.


	7. Little White Lies

Hyrulian Nights

Hyrulian Nights

Scene 6:Little White Lies

_(Cut to inside of castle, Ganondorf emerging from his secret chambers.He slides the door shut carefully, but the princess comes storming in before he is finished.He slams it shut, pinning Kaepora inside the door frame.)_

**ZELDA:**Ganondorf?

**GANONDORF:**Oh, uh, princess.

**KAEPORA:**Hoot!Ganondorf, I'm stuck!

**GANONDORF:**How may I be of service to you?_(He spreads out his cape, hiding the door.)_

**ZELDA:**The guards just took a boy from the market, on your orders.

**GANONDORF:**Your father's charged me with keeping peace in Hyrule.The boy was a criminal.

**ZELDA:**What was the crime?

**KAEPORA:**I can't breathe, Ganondorf.

**GANONDORF:**Why, kidnapping the princess, of course.

**KAEPORA:**If you could just... _(Ganondorf kicks him back inside the door and it slams shut)_Wow, that hurt!

**ZELDA:**He didn't kidnap me!I ran away!

**GANONDORF:**_(Walking away as if shocked)_Oh, dear!Oh, how frightfully upsetting.Had I but known.

**ZELDA:**What do you mean?

**GANONDORF:**Sadly, the boy's sentence has already been carried out.

**ZELDA:**What sentence?

**GANONDORF:**_(with a sinister tone)_Death._(Zelda gasps.)_By beheading.

**ZELDA:**No!_(She collapses to the floor.)_

**GANONDORF:**I am exceedingly sorry, princess.

**ZELDA:**How could you?_(She runs from the room crying.)_

_(Kaepora finally makes it out through the door.He files up and lands on Ganondorf's shoulder, coughing.)_

**KAEPORA:**So, how did it go?

**GANONDORF:**I think she took it rather well._(They both get a sinister smile on their faces.)_

_(Dissolve to Zelda at night, crying at the edge of the fountain.Impa comes over to comfort her.She pets her.)_

**ZELDA:**It's all my fault, Impa.I didn't even know his name.

_(Cut to inside the dungeon.Rats scurry by, and we descend until we see Link chained to the wall.)_

**LINK:**_(to himself)_She was the princess.I don't believe it.I must have sounded so stupid to her.

**NAVI:**_(from a distance)_Yoo-hoo!Link?Hello!

_(Navi appears at the window at the top of the dungeon.)_

**LINK:**Navi!Down here!Hey, c'mon... help me outta these.

_(Navi stops, then begins jingling wildly, dropping to the ground.She wraps a cloth around her head and makes her eyes big in an imitation of the princess.)_

**LINK:**Hey, she was in trouble.Ah, she was worth it.

_(Navi flies up on Link's shoulders and takes out a small set of tools, then frees Link.)_

**NAVI:**Yeah, yeah, yeah.

**LINK:**Don't worry, Navi.I'll never see her again.I'm a faerie boy, remember, and there's a law.She's gotta marry royalty, she deserves it.

_(Navi finally frees Link's hands.)_

**NAVI:**Ta da!

**LINK:**_(Rubbing his wrists)_I'm a... I'm a fool.

**RESEARCHER:**You're only a fool if you give up, boy.

_(The Researcher from Lake Hylia sits in a corner of the dungeon.)_

**LINK:**Who are you?

**RESEARCHER:**A lowly prisoner, like yourself.But together, we can be more.

**LINK:**I'm listening.

**RESERACHER:**There is a realm, boy.The Sacred Realm.Filled with treasures beyond your wildest dreams.Treasure enough to impress even your princess, I'd wager.

_(The Researcher pronounces the word 'princess' with the accent on the second syllable, 'cess', just as Ganondorf did.The Researcher turns his back, and Kaepora sticks his head out of Ganondorf's "researcher" disguise.)_

**KAEPORA:**Ganondorf, can ya hurry it up?I'm dyin' in here!

**LINK:**But the law says that only royalty can marry...

**RESEARCHER:**You've heard of the golden rule, haven't you boy?Whoever has the gold makes the rules._(He grins, showing a hideously bad mouth.)_

**LINK:**So why would you share all of this wonderful treasure with me?

**RESEARCHER:**I need a young man with strong legs and a strong back to go in after it.

**LINK:**Ah, one problem.It's out there, we're in here?

_(The Researcher walks to a wall and pushes open a hidden exit.)_

**RESEARCHER:**Mmm, mmm, mmm.Things aren't always what they seem.So do we have a deal?

_(Link looks at Navi, who shrugs her shoulders.)_

**NAVI:**Oh, hmm.


	8. The Mysteries of the Sacred Realm

Hyrulian Nights

Hyrulian Nights

Scene 7:The Mysteries of the Sacred Realm

_(Cut to desert scene.We see Link leading a horse with the Researcher and Navi on it.Dissolve to the Sacred Realm.)_

**SACRED REALM:**Who disturbs my slumber?

**LINK:**It is I, Link.

**SACRED REALM:**Proceed.Touch nothing but the Triforce.

_(The realm opens up with a roar, and a staircase appears in front of Link.)_

**RESEARCHER:**Remember, boy... first fetch me the Triforce, and then you shall have your reward.

**LINK:**_(to Navi hiding under the shoulder of his vest)_C'mon, Navi.

_(Link begins to descend the staircase.He reaches the bottom and enters a golden chamber filled with treasure.)_

**LINK:**Would ya look at that!

**NAVI:**Uh oh!

**LINK:**Just a handful of this stuff would make me richer than the king!

_(Navi peeks out, sees the treasure, and then bolts for it.)_

**LINK:**Navi!

_(Navi stops in mid-fly, hovering over a rug on the floor.)_

**LINK:**Don't... touch... anything!We gotta find that Triforce.

_(They begin to make their way through the room when the carpet rises off the floor and begins following them.Navi gets the feeling they're being followed.)_

**NAVI:**Huh?

_(She turns, and the carpet lies flat on the floor.She continues, and the carpet begins to follow again.Again, Navi turns back, but the carpet is rolled up and leaning against a pile of treasure.Navi runs to Link and tugs on his tunic.)_

**NAVI:**Link!Link!

**LINK:**Navi, will ya knock it off?

_(Again the carpet follows, but this time, when Navi turns, the carpet jumps to the other side.It reaches down with a tassel and pulls on Navi's wing.When Navi jumps around, the carpet again goes to the other side.This time, Navi lands in a karate stance.Carpet reaches over and plucks Link's cap off, then puts it on himself.Navi sits thinking for a second, until Carpet waves a tassel in front of her face.Navi and Carpet both jump scared, and run away.Navi tackles Link and turns his head to look at the Carpet.)_

**LINK:**Navi, what, are you... crazy?

_(The Carpet peeks out from behind a pile of treasure.)_

**LINK:**A magic carpet!C'mon.C'mon out.I'm not gonna hurt you.

_(The Carpet slowly comes out, shyly, then picks up Link's cap and dusts it off.It flies over to Link and hands the hat to Link.Navi jingles and jumps onto his shoulder.)_

**LINK:**Takes it easy, Navi.He's not gonna bite.

_(The Carpet again picks up Link's cap and hands it to him.Navi shakes her fist and jingles at it.Carpet begins to walk away sadly.)_

**LINK:**Hey, wait a minute.Don't go.Maybe you can help us._(Carpet looks back, excited.It then flies over and wraps around the pair.)_Hey, whoa!You see, we're trying to find this triangle._(Carpet motions for them to follow it.)_I think he knows where it is.

_(They pass through a long tunnel, until they emerge in a giant underground cavern.In the center of the room is a tall pillar, with a staircase going up to it.It is surrounded by water with unevenly placed stones forming a bridge.At the top of the pillar is a beam of light.Link begins to cross the bridge.)_

**LINK:**Wait here!

**NAVI:**Oh.Huh?

_(Navi sees a shrine with a golden faerie.The outstretched hands hold a giant rupee.Navi is hypnotically drawn to it.Link climbs the stairs quickly.Carpet sees Navi and grabs her wings trying in vain to hold her back.Link finally reaches the Triforce.)_

**LINK:** This is it?This is what we came all the way down here to..._(He looks down and sees Navi break free of Carpet's hold and lunge for the rupee.)_Navi... No!

_(Navi grabs the rupee.There is a rumbling and the room begins to shake.)_

**REALM'S VOICE:**Infidels!

**NAVI:**Uh oh!

**REALM'S VOICE:**You have touched the forbidden treasure._(Navi places the rupee back into the hand, but the rupee and the shrine melt into lava.)_Now you will never again see the light of day!

_(Link races down the steps, but they flatten into a ramp, and he skies down until he flies into the air.The water has turned into lava.He is falling toward it, when all of a sudden Carpet appears and catches him.Navi is standing on one of the rocks of the bridge.She looks left and right and sees rocks exploding into lava.Then Carpet races over and Link grabs her, just as the last rock is exploding.)_

**LINK:**Whoa!Carpet, let's move!

_(Together, they race back through the realm, dodging walls and falling debris.Navi grabs Link's head and covers his eyes.)_

**LINK:**Navi, this is no time to panic!_(He pulls Navi off his head and sees they are flying into a wall.)_Start panicking.

_(Carpet goes into a dive, through another tunnel.Finally, they emerge through the internal entrance.Outside, the realm begins to growl and close.Carpet and company are almost to the top when a boulder drops on Carpet, sending it to the floor.Link grabs onto the rock wall and holds on.He sees the Researcher at the top, within reach.)_

**LINK:**Help me out!

**RESEARCHER:**Throw me the Triforce!

**LINK:**I can't hold on.Give me your hand.

**RESERACHER:**First give me the Triforce!

_(Link reaches in and pulls out the Triforce.He hands it up, and the Researcher raises it above his head.)_

**RESEARCHER:**Ha, ha, ha, ha!Yes!At last!Ha, ha, ha, ha!

_(Link has climbed out with the assistance of Navi.But the Researcher kicks aside Navi and grabs Link's wrist.)_

**LINK:**What are you doing?

**RESEARCHER:**Giving you your reward._(Ganondorf returns to his normal voice.)_Your eternal reward.

_(He pulls out a crooked dagger and is about to stab Link when Navi bites him on the wrist.He screams, but lets go of Link, who falls into the realm.The Researcher throws Navi into the realm as well.They fall.Carpet sees this, but is pinned under a boulder.It struggles to break free, then does.It races up and catches Link, but he has already hit the wall several times and is unconscious.On the surface, the realm roars one final time, then sinks back into the sand.Ganondorf pulls off his disguise.)_

**GANONDORF:**Heh, heh, heh!It's mine.It's all mine!I..._(He can't find it in his pocket)_Where is it?No.No!

_(Fade to Zelda's bedroom.She is sitting on her bed, next to Impa who looks sad.The King walks in.)_

**KING:**Zelda?Oh, dearest.What's wrong?

**ZELDA:**Ganondorf... has... done something... terrible._(She looks as if she's been crying.)_

**KING:**There, there, there, my child... we'll set it right.Now, tell me everything.


	9. You Ain't Never Had a Friend Like Me

Hyrulian Nights

Hyrulian Nights

Scene 8:You Ain't Never Had a Friend Like Me

_(Cut to inside the Sacred Realm.Link lies unconscious on the Carpet.Navi tries to wake him.)_

**NAVI:**Oh, oh.Link?Wake up.Link.

_(Carpet rises up, lifting Link up.He awakes slowly.)_

**LINK:**Oh, my head._(He looks at the entrance sealed in.)_We're trapped._(Angry, shaking his fists at the entrance)_That two-faced son-of-a-sow._(Calmer)_Whoever he was, he's long gone with that Triforce.

**NAVI:**Aha!

_(Navi pulls out the Triforce.)_

**LINK:**Why, you flying little thief!Looks like such a beat-up, worthless piece of junk.Hey, I think here's something written here, but it's hard to make out.

_(He rubs the Triforce.Suddenly smoke comes out the hole, the Triforce begins to shake and glow, but Link holds onto the Triforce, and Farore the goddess comes out.)_

**FARORE:**Aaaaahhhhh!Oy!Ten thousand years will give ya such a crick in the neck!_(She hangs Link on a nearby rock.Then she pulls her head off and spins it around, yelling as she does so.Carpet pulls Link down.)_Whoa!Does it feel good to be outta there!_(Farore magically creates a microphone.)_Nice to be back, ladies and gentlemen.Hi, where ya from?_(Sticks the microphone in Link's face.)_What's your name?

**LINK:**Uh, Li... uh... Link.

**FARORE:**_(Says his name as if she's amazed)_Link!_(A neon sign lights up with Link's name on it, circled by chase lights.The sign changes to reflect Farore's upcoming line.)_Hello Link.Nice to have you on the show.Can we call you 'Lin'?Or maybe just 'Ink'?Or how about 'Linky'?_(Farore disappears, then a pile of chains appears on the ground.)_ Sounds like you're the missing link to this thing.

**LINK:**_(Shaking his head)_ I must have hit my head harder than I thought.

**FARORE:**_(Still in chains)_Do you smoke?Mind if I do?_(Poofs into smoke, then back to herself.Navi jingles wildly.)_Oh, sorry Cheetah... hope I didn't singe the fur!Hey, Rug man!Haven't seen you in a few millennia!Slap me some tassel!Yo!Yeah!_(Carpet flies over and high-fives with Farore.Farore looks at Link.)_Say, you're a lot smaller than my last master.Either that or I'm getting bigger.Look at me from the side, do I look fat to you?

**LINK:**Wait a minute!I'm... your master?

**FARORE:**_(Slaps a diploma in Link's hand and a mortarboard on his head.)_That's right!He can be taught!!What would you wish of me, _(as Arnold Schwarzenegger)_ the ever-impressive, _(inside a cube)_ the long-contained, _(as a ventriloquist with a dummy) often imitated, __(tosses the dummy aside) but never duplicated..._

_(She multiplies into multiple Farores who surround her.)_

**DUPLICATE FARORES:**Duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated.

**FARORE:**_(Says it like a ring announcer at a boxing match)_Goddess!Of!The Triforce!_(Goes into Ed Sullivan)_ Right here for your enjoyment wish fulfillment.Thank youuuuu!

**LINK:**Whoa!Wish fulfillment?

**FARORE:**Three wishes to be exact.And ix-nay on the wishing for more wishes._(Turns into a slot machine, arm pulls down and three Farores appear in the windows.)That's it... three.__(Three Farore caballeros come out of the slot.)Uno, dos, tres._(Changes into black-and-white Groucho Marx.)_No substitutions, exchanges, or refunds._(The duck drops with the secret word 'refunds.')__

**LINK:**_(to Navi)_Now I know I'm dreaming.

**FARORE:**_(Music for song begins)_Master, I don't think you quite realize what you've got here!So why don't you just ruminate, whilst I illuminate the possibilities._(Farore lights up like a fluorescent light and starts singing.)_

_(Farore produces 40 thieves who surround Link with swords.She appears in his vest, then sticks her arms out and boxes the thieves into submission.)_

Well Nabooru had them forty thieves.

And Rauru had a thousand tales.

But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeve

You got a brand of magic never fails!

_(Boxing ring appears, Link in the corner, being massaged by Farore.Then Farore turns into a pile of fireworks and explodes.Then Farore appears inside the Triforce and hand and rubs the Triforce with it.)_

You got some power in your corner now

Some heavy ammunition on your horse

You got some punch, pizzazz, yahoo and how

See all you gotta do is rub the Triforce

And I'll say

_(Farore produces a table and chairs, then writes down things on a notepad, like a waitress.)_

Oh Mister Link, my sir

What will your pleasure be?

Let me take your order, jot it down.

You ain't never had a friend like me.

No, no, no!

_(Farore appears as a plate of cucco, then returns to normal, but enlarges her ear to listen to Link.Finally, she explodes into four duplicate Farores.)_

Life is your restaurant

And I'm your maitre' d!

C'mon whisper what it is you want

You ain't never had a friend like me.

_(The Farores give him a shave, haircut, and manicure, then Link appears in a comfy chair surrounded by the treasure and being fanned by women.Farore appears and fills the screen with baklava.)_

Yes sir, we pride ourselves on service

You're the boss, the king, the shah!

Say what you wish, it's yours!True dish

How about a little more Baklava?

_(Link ruses up on a column of foot with a giant 'A' on top, then jumps to another column with a 'B' on top.He falls off and is caught by a cushion held by Farore.She opens her mouth, and her tongue turns into a staircase.A miniature Farore dressed like a magician comes out.)_

Try some of column 'A'

Try all of column 'B'

I'm in the mood to help you dude

You ain't never had a friend like me

_(The miniature Farore does a little dance with Farore__'__s two giant hands.At the end, they surround the miniature Farore and squish her into nothing._

_ _

_Farore pulls off her head, duplicates it and then juggles them.She tosses them to Link, who juggles with one hand and spins one of the heads back onto Farore, who proceeds to try and pull herself out of a hat at his base.She spirals around and around until she turns into a white rabbit.The rabbit transforms into a purple dragon.The dragon breathes fire, which turns into three Gerudo harem girls, who dance around Link.Just as he begins to enjoy them, they disappear.)_

Can your friends do this?

Do your friends do that?

Do your friends pull this out their little hat?

Can your friends go poof!

Well looky here

Can your friends go Abracadabra, let 'er rip

And then make the sucker disappear?

_(Farore imitates what she is calling Link, then turns into a certificate which rolls up and surrounds Link.Farore pulls a list written in ancient Hylian out of Link's ear, which she uses to rub his behind like drying off after a shower.)_

So don't you sit there slack-jawed, buggy-eyed

I'm here to answer all your midday prayers

You got me bona fide, certified

You got a goddess for a charge d' affairs!

I got a powerful urge to help you out

So what you wish I really want to know

You got a which that's three miles long, no doubt

So all you gotta do is rub like so, and oh!

_(The dancing Gerudo harem girls reappear, and Link leans in to kiss one.She turns into Farore, who zaps four dancing elephants into existence.To the other direction, she zaps in four dancing camels, and a grand finale dancing number ensues.Navi grabs as much gold as she can, but Farore wraps everything up in a cyclone and zaps it away until they're all back in the realm.)_

Oh Mister Link, my sir, have a wish or two or three

I'm on the job, you big nabob

You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend

You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend

You ain't never... had a... friend... like... me!

You ain't never had a friend like me!

_(Farore has a neon "Applause" sign behind her.Navi suddenly realizes that all her treasure is gone.)_

**FARORE:**So what'll it be, master?

**LINK:**You're gonna grant me any three wishes I want?

**FARORE:**_(as William F. Buckley)_ Ah, almost.There are a few provisos, a couple of quid pro quos...

**LINK:**Like?

**FARORE:**Ah, rule number one: I can't kill anybody._(She slices her head off with her finger.)_So don't ask.Rule two:I can't make anyone fall in love with anyone else._(Her head turns into a big pair of lips which kiss Link.)_You little punim, there._(Lies flat, then gets up and transforms into a zombie.)_Rule three: I can't bring people back from the dead.It's not a pretty picture, _(She grabs Link and shakes him)_I don't like doing it!_(She poofs back to normal.)_Other than that, you got it!

**LINK:**_(Looks at Navi as if plotting)_Ah, provisos?You mean limitations?On wishes?_(To Navi)_Some all-powerful goddess... can't even bring people back from the dead.I don't know, Navi... she probably can't even get us out of this cave.Looks like we're gonna have to find a way out of here...

_(They start to leave, but a big foot stomps down in front of them.)_

**FARORE:**Excuse me?Are you lookin' at me?Did you rub my Triforce?Did you wake me up, did you bring me here?And all of a sudden, you're walkin' out on me?_(Gets madder and madder)_I don't think so, not right now.You're gettin' your wishes, so siddown!_(They all get on Carpet.Farore takes the form of a stewardess, with lots of arms pointing out the exits.)_In case of emergency, the exits are here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, anywhere!Keep your hands and arms inside the carpet.We're... outta here!

_(The Carpet and passengers fly out of the sand in the desert and off into the distance.)_


	10. The Beginning of a Dream

Hyrulian Nights

Hyrulian Nights

Scene 9:The Beginning of a Dream

_(Cut to inside the King's chamber.Ganondorf is there with Kaepora, Zelda, and the King.)_

**KING:**Ganondorf, this is an outrage.If it weren't for all your years of loyal service...From now on, you are to discuss sentencing of prisoners with me, before they are beheaded.

**GANONDORF:**I assure you, your highness, it won't happen again.

**KING:**Zelda, Ganondorf, now let's put this whole messy business behind us, please?

**GANONDORF:**My most abject and humblest apologies to you as well, princess._(He takes her hand to kiss it, but she yanks it away.)_

**ZELDA:**At least some good will come of my being forced to marry. When I am queen, I will have the power to get rid of you.

**KING:**That's nice.All settled, then.Now, Zelda, getting back to this suitor business..._(He looks and sees Zelda walking out)_Zelda?Zelda!_(He runs after her.)_

**GANONDORF:**If only I had gotten the Triforce!

**KAEPORA:**_(As Zelda)_I will have the power to get rid of you!D'oh!To think, we gotta keep kissing up to that chump, and his chump daughter for the rest of our lives...

**GANONDORF:**No, Kaepora.Only until she finds a chump husband.Then she'll have us banished... or beheaded!

**BOTH:**Eeewww!

**KAEPORA:**_(Has an idea)_Oh!Wait a minute!Wait a minute!Ganondorf?What if you were the chump husband?

**GANONDORF:**_(He looks at Kaepora in insult.)_What?

**KAEPORA:**Okay, you marry the princess, all right?Then, uh, you become king!

**GANONDORF:**Oh!Marry the shrew?I become king.The idea has merit!

**KAEPORA:**Yes, merit!Yes!And then we drop papa-in-law and the little woman off a cliff!_(Dive bombs into the floor.)_Kersplat!

**GANONDORF:**Kaepora, I love the way your foul little mind works!

_(Both laugh as we cut to an oasis in the desert, where Carpet is coming in for a landing.)_

**FARORE:**_(Still as stewardess)_Thank you for choosing Magic Carpet for all your travel needs.Don't stand until the rug has come to a complete stop._(As Link and Navi get off down the stairway formed by Carpet)_Thank you.Goodbye, goodbye!Thank you!Goodbye!_(Back to normal)_Well now.How about that, mister doubting Mustafa?

**LINK:**Oh, you sure showed me.Now about my three wishes...

**FARORE:**Dost mine ears deceive me?Three?You are down by one, boy!

**LINK:**Ah, no... I never actually wished to get out of the cave.You did that on your own.

_(Farore thinks for a second, then her jaw drops.She turns into a sheep.)_

**FARORE:**Well, don't I feel just sheepish?All right, you baaaaad boy, but no more freebies.

**LINK:**Fair deal.So, three wishes.I want them to be good._(To Farore)_What would you wish for?

_(Farore is hanging like a hammock between two trees.)_

**FARORE:**Me?No one's ever asked me that before.Well, in my case, ah, forget it.

**LINK:**What?No, tell me.

**FARORE:**Freedom.

**LINK:**You're a prisoner?

**FARORE:**It's all part-and-parcel, the whole goddess gig._(Grows gigantic; her voice echoes)_Phenomenal cosmic powers!_(Shrinks down, cramped in the Triforce.)_Itty bitty living space.

**LINK:**Farore, that's terrible.

**FARORE:**_(Comes out of the Triforce)_But, oh... to be free.Not have to go "Poof!What do you need?Poof!What do you need?Poof!What do you need?"To be my own master, such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world!But what am I talking about, here?Let's get real here.It's not gonna happen.Farore, wake up and smell the hummus.

**LINK:**Why not?

**FARORE:**The only way I get outta this is if my master wishes me out.So you can guess how often that's happened.

**LINK:**I'll do it.I'll set you free.

**FARORE:**_(Head turns into Pinocchio's with a long nose)_Uh huh, right.Whoop!

**LINK:**No, really, I promise._(He pushes the nose back in and Farore's head returns to normal.)_After I make my first my first two wishes, I'll use my third wish to set you free._(He holds out his hand.)_

**FARORE:** Well, here's hopin'._(Shakes Link's hand.)_Okay.Let's make some magic!_(Turns into a magician.)_So how 'bout it.What is it you want most?

**LINK:**Well, there's this girl...

**FARORE:**Eehhh!_(Like a buzzer, and Farore's chest holds a heart with a cross through it.)_Wrong!I can't make anybody fall in love, remember?

**LINK:**Oh, but Farore.She's smart and fun and...

**FARORE:**Pretty?

**LINK:**Beautiful.She's got these eyes that just... and this hair, wow... and her smile.

**FARORE:**_(Sitting in a Parisian café with Navi and Carpet.)_Ami.C'est l'amour.

**LINK:**But she's the princess.To even have a chance, I'd have to be a... hey, can you make me a prince?

**FARORE:**Let's see here._(Has a "Royal Cookbook".)_Uh, Cucco a' la king?_(Pulls out a cucco with a crown on its head.)_Nope.Snowhead king crab?_(Yanks out his finger, and we see a crab clamped on.)_Ow, I hate it when they do that.Caesar's salad?_(A dagger comes out and tries to stab him.)_Et tu, Brute?Ah, to make a prince._(Looks slyly at Link.)_Now is that an official wish?Say the words!

**LINK:**Farore, I wish for you to make me a prince!

**FARORE:**All right!Woof, woof, woof, woof!_(Takes on square shoulders and looks like Arsenio Hall.Then becomes a tailor/fashion designer.)_First, that cap and tunic combo is much too third century.These patches... what are we trying to say... faerie boy?No!Let's work with me here._(He takes Link's measurements, snaps his fingers and Link is outfitted in his prince costume.)_I like it, muy macho!Now, still needs something.What does it say to me?It says mode of transportation.Excuse me, faerie girl!Aquí, over here!_(Navi tries to cover herself with Carpet, but Farore zaps her and she flies over.)_

**NAVI:**Uh oh!

**FARORE:**Here she comes, _(Link and Farore are on a game show set, where Link stands behind a podium with "Link" on it.)_And what better way to make your grand entrance in the marketplace of Hyrule than riding your very own brand new camel!Watch out, it spits!_(A door bearing Farore's head on it opens, where Navi is transformed into a camel.She spits out the side of her mouth on cue.But Farore's still unsure.)_Mmm, not enough._(She snaps her fingers and Navi turns into a common horse.)_Still not enough.Let's see.What do you need?_(Farore snaps her fingers repeatedly, turning Navi into a duck, an ostrich, a turtle, and a '57 Cadillac, with license plate "Navi 1" in turn.Finally she's returned to normal.)_Yes!!Esalalumbo, shimin dumbo!Whoa!!_(On the keyword of the spell, 'dumbo', Navi turns into Epona.Carpet struggels to get out from under Navi's hooves.)_Talk about your horsepower, check this action out!

_(Navi/Epona sees her reflection in a pool of water, then jumps into a tree.The tree naturally bens back down the ground, where Navi hangs on and looks at Link upside down.)_

**LINK:**Navi, you look good.

**FARORE:**He's got the outfit, he's got the horse, but we're not through yet.Hang on to your crown, kid, cause we're gonna make you a star!


	11. Prince Linqui

Hyrulian Nights

Hyrulian Nights

Scene 10:Prince Linqui

_(We zoom slowly with the oasis in the distance, as fireworks begin to explode outward.Cut to a room in the palace with a pile of toys.We tilt up and see the King balancing them.He carefully balances the last piece on top, then sits back and sighs.Ganondorf storms in, though, and the pile collapses.)_

**GANONDORF:**Sire, I have found a solution to the problem with your daughter.

**KAEPORA:**Hoot!The problem with your daughter!

**KING:**Oh, really?

**GANONDORF:**_(Unrolling a scroll)_ Right here."If the princess has not chosen a husband by the appointed time, than the king shall chose for her."

**KING:**But Zelda hated all those suitors._(He tries to stuff a cracker in Kaepora's mouth.Kaepora backs away.The King absent-mindedly pulls the cracker back.)_How could I choose someone she hates?_(Kaepora is relieved, but the King quickly stuffs a cracker in his mouth.)_

**GANONDORF:**Not to worry, my liege. There is more.If, in the event a suitable prince cannot be found, a princess must then be wed to... hmmmm... interesting.

**KING:**What?Who?

**GANONDORF:**The royal vizier!Why, that would be... me!

**KING:**Why, I thought the law says that only royalty can marry a princess, I'm quite sure.

**GANONDORF:**Desperate times call for desperate measures, my lord._(He pulls out the staff and hypnotizes the King with it.)_

**KING:**Yes... desperate measures...

**GANONDORF:**You will order the princess to marry me.

**KING:**I... will order... the princess... to... _(The spell breaks momentarily)_ but you're so old!

**GANONDORF:**_(Holds the staff closer)_The princess will marry me!

**KING:**The princess will marry..._(The spell is again broken, this time by the trumpet fanfare.)_What?What is that?That music!Ha, ha, ha.Ganondorf, you must come and see this!

_(We see an advancing parade, led by what appears to be Farore as a drum major.)_

**DEKUS:**Make way for Prince Linqui!

**KOKIRI:**Say hey!It's Prince Linqui!

_(The Major mingles amongst different crowd members.)_

**FARORE (as MAJOR):**_(singing)_

Hey, clear the way in the old bazaar,

Hey you, let us through, it's a bright new star,

Now come, be the first on your block to meet his eye!

Make way, here he comes,

Ring bells, bang the drums.

You're gonna love this guy!

_(Navi, as Epona, trots through town, with Link, as Linqui, on her back.)_

Prince Linqui, fabulous he, Linqui S'rasrahla

Genuflect, show some respect, down on one knee

_(Kaepora is dancing to the music until Ganondorf glares at him.Farore "wheelbarrows" six men towards Linqui as Linqui shakes their hands.)_

Now try your best to stay calm

Brush up your Sunday Salaam

And come and meet his spectacular coterie.

_(The pile collapses on Linqui, but Farore uses a lightning bolt to zap the pile, and he ends up holding them all up in an aerobatic wheel formation.Farore turns into an old man, then a child and speaks the last two lines to the crowd.)_

Prince Linqui, mighty is he, Linqui S'rasrahla!

Strong as ten regular men, definitely

He faced the galloping hordes

A hundred bad guys with swords

Who sent those goons to their lords, why Prince Linqui!

_(Farore is off-screen, a giant balloon gorilla proceeds down the parade.)_

**CHORUS OF MEN:**_(Carrying the camels)_ He's got seventy-five golden camels!

_(In pops a typical parade commentator)_

**FARORE (as HARRY):**Don't they look lovely, June?

**CHORUS OF WOMEN:**_(On a float)_ Purple peacocks, he's got fifty-three!

**FARORE (as JUNE):**Fabulous, Harry, I love the feathers!

_(Farore pops in as a lizardos, then a wolfos, and speaks the last two lines to the two children from earlier.)_

**FARORE:**When it comes to exotic type mammals

Has he got a zoo, I'm telling you

It's a world class menagerie!

_(We cut to a balcony, where the Rosa Sisters are joined by Farore, who looks like the sisters.)_

**FARORE:**

**ROSA SISTERS:**_(in counterpoint)_

Prince Linqui, Handsome is he, Linqui S'rasrahla

There's no question this Linqui's alluring

That physique, how can I speak,

Never ordinary, never boring

Weak at the knee

Everything about the man just plain impresses

Well, get on out in that square

He's a wonder, he's a whiz, a wonder

Adjust your veil and prepare

He's about to pull my heart asunder

To gawk and grovel and stare at Prince Linqui!

And I absolutely love the way he dresses!

_(Zelda has been watching from the balcony of the palace.She humphs it off, then leaves.)_

**CHORUS:**He's got ninety-five white Hyl'an monkeys!

He's got the monkeys, let's see the monkeys!

And to view them, he charges no fee!

He's generous, so generous!

He's got slaves, he's got servants and flunkies!

Proud to work for him

They bow to his whim, love serving him

They're just lousy with loyalty to Linqui!Prince Linqui!

_(Linqui throws gold coins out to the people, who rush over to collect them.Navi and the parade march up the steps of the palace and inside.The King runs back inside to the door to the throne room, but Ganondorf stands in front of the door.Suddenly, it bursts open, with Navi, as Epona, leading the way, and crushing Ganondorf and Kaepora behind the door.)_

Prince Linqui!Amorous he!Linqui S'rasrahla

**FARORE:**Heard your princess was a sight lovely to see!

And that, good people, is why

He got dolled up and dropped by

With sixty elephants, llamas galore

With his bears and lions

A frog band and more

With his forty fakirs, his cooks, his bakers

His birds that warble on key

Make way for Prince Linqui!

_(More and more fanfare builds up until Link flies off Epona's back on the Carpet and flies over to the King.Ganondorf slams the door shut.)_

**KING:**_(Clapping)_Splendid, absolutely marvelous.

**LINK:**_(Takes on a deeper voice)_Ahem.Your majesty, I have journeyed from afar to seek your daughter's hand.

**KING:**Prince Linqui Sarasrahla!Of course.I'm delighted to meet you._(He rushes over and shakes Link's hand.)_This is my royal vizier, Ganondorf.He's delighted too.

**GANONDORF:**(Extremely dryly) Ecstatic.I'm afraid, Prince Sarasbahba...

**LINK:**Sarasrahla!

**GANONDORF:**Whatever.You cannot just parade in here uninvited and expect to...

**KING:**By Din, this is quite a remarkable device._(He tugs at the tassels, and they tug his moustache.)_I don't suppose I might...

**LINK:**Why certainly, your majesty.Allow me.

_(He helps the King up onto the Carpet, and he plops down.Ganondorf pins the Carpet down on the floor with his staff.)_

**GANONDORF:**Sire, I must advise against this...

**KING:**Oh, button up, Ganondorf.Learn to have a little fun.

_(He kicks away the staff and Carpet and the King fly away.Kaepora, who was standing on the head of the staff, falls down, repeatedly bopping the staff with his beak as he descends.The King and Carpet fly high into the ceiling, then begin a dive-bomb attack, flying under Navi, scaring her.The flight continues in the background, while Ganondorf and Linqui talk in the foreground.)_

**GANONDORF:**Just where did you say you were from?

**LINK:**Oh, much farther than you've traveled, I'm sure._(He smiles.Ganondorf does not.)_

**GANONDORF:**Try me._(Kaepora lands on the staff.)_

**KING:**Look out, Polly!

_(They all duck in time as the Carpet whizzes inches over their heads.Carpet returns, and the King chases Kaepora around the room.)_

**KAEPORA:**Hey, watch it.Watch it with the dumb rug!

_(The Carpet zooms underneath Kaepora, who sighs, wipes his brow, and crashes into a pillar.He crashes to the floor, his head being surrounded by miniature Kings on Carpets, saying "Have a cracker, have a cracker."The real King begins his final approach.)_

**KING:**Out of the way, I'm coming in to land.Ganondorf, watch this!_(He lands.)_

**GANONDORF:**Spectacular, your highness.

**KING:**Ooh, lovely.Yes, I do seem to have a knack for it._(Carpet walks over to Navi dizzily, then collapses.Navi catches him.)_This is a very impressive youth.And a prince as well._(Whispers to Ganondorf)_If we're lucky, you won't have to marry Zelda after all.

**GANONDORF:**I don't trust him, sire.

**KING:**Nonsense.One thing I pride myself on Ganondorf, I'm an excellent judge of character.

**KAEPORA:**Oh, excellent judge, yeah, sure... not!!!

_(Zelda walks in quietly.)_

**KING:**Zelda will like this one!

**LINK:** And I'm pretty sure I'll like Princess Zelda!

**GANONDORF:**Your highness, no.I must intercede on Zelda's behalf._(Zelda hears this and gets mad.)_This boy is no different than the others.What makes him think he is worthy of the princess?

**LINK:**Your majesty, I am Prince Linqui Sarasrahla!_(He pricks Ganondorf's sideburns, which springs out in all directions.)_Just let her meet me.I will win your daughter!

**ZELDA:**How dare you!_(They all look at her surprised.)_All of you, standing around deciding my future?I am not a prize to be won!_(She storms out.)_

**KING:**Oh, dear.Don't worry, Prince Linqui.Just give Zelda time to cool down._(They exit.)_

**GANONDORF:**I think it's time to say goodbye to Prince Sarasbahba.


	12. A Whole New World

Hyrulian Nights

Hyrulian Nights

Scene 11:A Whole New World

_(Dissolve to Zelda on her balcony at night.We tilt down and find Link and company in the courtyard.)_

**LINK:**What am I do to do?Zelda won't even let me talk to her.I should have known I couldn't pull off this stupid prince wish._(Navi struggles with her hooves to open a bottle of faerie fountain water, and then the bottle cracks into pieces.It falls into a heaping pile of the same.)_

**FARORE:**_(To Carpet, playing chess)_So move!_(Carpet does, knocking a black piece off the board.)_Hey.That's a good move._(as Rodney Dangerfield)_I can't believe it... I'm losing to a rug.

**LINK:**Farore, I need help.

**FARORE:**_(As Jack Nicholson)_All right, sparky, here's the deal.You wanna court the little lady, you gotta be a straight shooter, do ya follow me?

**LINK:**What?

**FARORE:**_(Back to normal, wearing a mortarboard.She points out her words on a blackboard)_Tell her the... Truth!

**LINK:**No way!If Zelda found out I was really some crummy faerie boy, she'd laugh at me._(He puts on his cap, which lights up as Farore.)_

**FARORE:**A woman appreciates a man who can make her laugh!_(Link pulls the chain turning off the light.Farore comes holding the real cap.)_Link, all joking aside, you really ought to be yourself.

**LINK:**Hey, that's the last thing I want to be.Okay, I'm gonna go see her.I gotta be smooth, cool, confident.How do I look?

**FARORE:**_(Sadly)_Like a prince.

_(Link flies up to the balcony on Carpet.Zelda is on her bed, sighing.Impa is by her side.)_

**LINK:**_(From a distance)_Princess Zelda?

_(Impa looks up and growls.)_

**ZELDA:**Who's there?

**LINK:**It's me... Prince Linqui.Ahem..._(Jumps to his deep voice)_Prince Linqui Sarasrahla.

**ZELDA:**I do not want to see you.

**LINK:**No, no, please princess.Give me a chance._(Impa growls and advances on him.)_

**ZELDA:**Just leave me alone.

**LINK:**Down kitty!

_(Over the edge of the balcony, Carpet is watching with Farore below.)_

**FARORE:**How's our beau doing?

_(Carpet cuts his neck with his finger.)_

**LINK:**Good kitty, take off.Down kitty. _(He takes off his cap to brush Impa away.)_

**ZELDA:**_(She looks at him thinking she has seen him before.)_Wait, wait.Do I know you?

**LINK:**_(Quickly replaces his cap)_Uh, no, no.

**ZELDA:**You remind me of someone I met in the marketplace.

**LINK:**The marketplace?_(A bee buzzes around his head.)_I have servants that go to the marketplace for me.Why I even have servants who go to the marketplace for my servants, so it couldn't have been me you met.

**ZELDA:**_(She looks disappointed.)_No, I guess not.

**FARORE:**_(as the Bee)_Enough about you, Casanova.Talk about her!She's smart, fun, the hair, the eyes.Anything… pick a feature!

**LINK:**Um, Princess Zelda?You're very...

**BEE:**Wonderful, glorious, magnificent, punctual!

**LINK:**Punctual!

**ZELDA:**Punctual?

**BEE:**Sorry.

**LINK:**Beautiful.

**BEE:**Nice recovery.

**ZELDA:**Hmm.I'm rich too, you know.

**LINK:**Yeah!

**ZELDA:**The daughter of a king.

**LINK:**I know.

**ZELDA:**A fine prize for any prince to marry.

**LINK:**Uh, right.Right. A prince like me.

**BEE:**_(Buzzing in his ear)_Warning!Warning!

**ZELDA:**Right, a prince like you.And every other stuffed shirt, swaggering, peacock I've met!

**BEE:**_(Rear end on fire, wearing goggles and crashing)_Mayday!Mayday!

**ZELDA:**Just go jump off a balcony!_(She turns and walks away.)_

**LINK:**What?

**BEE:**Stop her!Stop her!Do you want me to sting her?

**LINK:**_(Swats at bee)_Buzz off!

**BEE:**Okay, fine.But remember... bee yourself!_(Bee buzzes into his cap.)_

**LINK:**Yeah, right!

**ZELDA:**What!?!

**LINK:**Uh, you're right.You aren't just some prize to be won.(He looks disappointed.)You should be free to make your own choice._(Zelda and Impa look at each other in confusion.)_I'll go now._(He steps up on the ledge and drops off.)_

**ZELDA:**No!

**LINK:**_(Pokes his head up from over the edge)_What?What?

**ZELDA:**_(Amazed)_How... how are you doing that?_(She looks over the edge and sees the Carpet.)_

**LINK:**It's a magic carpet.

**ZELDA:**It's lovely._(Carpet takes Zelda's hand with a tassel.)_

**LINK:**You, uh, you don't want to go for a ride, do you?We could get out of the palace, see the world.

**ZELDA:**Is it safe?

**LINK:**Sure.Do you trust me?

**ZELDA:**_(She looks at him suddenly)_What?

**LINK:**_(Extends his hand the same as before)_Do you trust me?

**ZELDA:**_(Gets a sly grin on her face)_Yes.

_(She takes his hand and gets up on Carpet.It zooms into the sky, knocking them both into sitting positions.Music swells.Zelda looks back and sees Impa looking up at her questioningly.She gasps as they fly over the palace wall and into the sky.)_

**LINK:**_(singing)_

I can show you the world

Shining, shimmering, splendid.

Tell me princess, now when did you last

Let your heart decide?

_(Carpet zooms down through the town, stopping slightly to pick a flower.It gives the flower to Link, who gives it to Zelda.She smiles.)_

I can open your eyes

Take you wonder by wonder

_(Carpet moves as Link sings, then zooms into the clouds.)_

Over, sideways, and under

On a magic carpet ride

A whole new world!

A new fantastic point of view

No one to tell us no

Or where to go

Or say we're only dreaming

_(Zelda looks back and watches Hyrule disappear from sight.Carpet flies in and out of the clouds.)_

**ZELDA:**A whole new world

A dazzling place I never knew

But when I'm way up here

It's crystal clear

**BOTH:**That now I'm in a whole new world with you!

_(They each catch a small cloud as Carpet continues the flight.It then circles a pillar of clouds, giving a swirly look to it.)_

**ZELDA:**Unbelievable sights

Indescribable feeling

Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling

Through an endless diamond sky

_(They join a flock of birds in the sky.One of them looks terrified and squawks.Carpet does somersaults and flips, at times putting Link and Zelda in free-fall, but catching them.They then zoom above the clouds where a starry night awaits them.)_

A whole new world!

**LINK:**Don't you dare close your eyes

**ZELDA:**A hundred thousand things to see

**LINK:**Hold your breath, it gets better!

**ZELDA:**I'm like a shooting star,

I've come so far

I can't go back to where I used to be!

_(They zoom down over a river, apparently the Greed, for beyond the ship's sails is the Gerudo Fortress.They wave at a worker sculpting a facial image of the Spirit Temple.She smiles, but chisels too much and breaks off the front section of the nose.)_

**LINK:**A whole new world!

**ZELDA:**Every turn a surprise

**LINK:**With new horizons to pursue

**ZELDA:**Every moment, red-letter

_(They fly alongside wild horses running.Zelda pets one of them.)_

**BOTH:**I'll chase them anywhere

There's time to spare

Let me share this whole new world with you

A whole new world

That's where we'll be

_(They fly over Lake Hylia, where Link grabs an apple from a tree, and rolls it down his arm to Zelda, who is now sure she is with Link, not Prince Linqui.)_

**LINK:**A thrilling chase

**ZELDA:**A wondrous place

**BOTH:**For you and me!

_(Carpet hovers along over the lake, and we see the reflection of the moon in the lake.Fireworks burst and we see the couple at a fireworks display, sitting on a rooftop.)_

**ZELDA:**It's all so magical.

**LINK:**Yeah.

**ZELDA:**_(She looks at him and decides to burst his bubble)_It's a shame Navi had to miss this.

**LINK:**Nah.She hates fireworks._(Carpet looks up realizing what is happening.)_She doesn't really like flying either._(Link now realizes it)_That is... oh no!

**ZELDA:**_(She pulls off his cap)_You are the boy from the market!I knew it.Why did you lie to me?

**LINK:**Zelda, I'm sorry.

**ZELDA:**Did you think I was stupid?

**LINK:**No!

**ZELDA:**That I wouldn't figure it out?

**LINK:**No.I mean, I hoped you wouldn't.No, that's not what I meant.

**ZELDA:**Who are you?Tell me the truth!

**LINK:**The truth?_(He looks at Carpet who waves him on, giving up hope.)_The truth...the truth is...I sometimes dress as a commoner to escape the pressures of palace life._(Carpet slumps down in defeat.)_But I really am a prince!_(His cap hood falls down over his eyes.)_

**ZELDA:**Why didn't you just tell me?

**LINK:**Well, you know, um... royalty going out into the city in disguise, it sounds a little strange, don't you think?

**ZELDA:**Not that strange.

_(She flicks up his cap and cuddles with him.Carpet puts a tassel under his "chin" and looks mystified.Dissolve to outside the castle balcony, where Link and Zelda return.Carpet forms a set of steps and she descends.Link then descends just below the balcony.)_

**ZELDA:**Good night, my handsome prince.

**LINK:**Sleep well, princess.

_(They slowly lean forward to kiss, but Carpet bumps him up and they kiss sooner than expected.She walks away slowly then turns and looks at him.Finally she enters her room through the curtain.)_


	13. Ganondorf's Conspiracy

Hyrulian Nights

Hyrulian Nights

Scene 12:Ganondorf's Conspiracy

**LINK:**Yes!_(He falls back onto the Carpet, who descends to the ground.)_For the first time in my life, things are starting to go right.

_(He looks up at Zelda's balcony, and four sets of hands grab him.)_

**LINK:**Hey!What?_(A gag is tied around his mouth.Muffled words)_Navi!Navi!_(We see the horse hanging from a net tied in a tree.)_

**GUARD:**Hold him!

_(Shackles are placed on his feet and his hands.Another guard ties Carpet in a knot around a tree.)_

**GANONDORF:**I'm afraid you've worn out your welcome, Prince Sarasbahba._(Walks away.)_Make sure he's never found.

_(A guard hits him in the head, and he falls unconscious.Cut to a cliff, where guards laugh as Link's body drops into the water.He is conscious now, but his feet are tied to a rock.The rock hits the sea floor, then the cap lands and the Triforce tumbles out.He sees this and struggles to rub the Triforce.However, he loses consciousness and falls to the ground.The Triforce, unsettled by his movement, rolls down and rubs against his hands.It shakes, and Farore emerges with a bath brush, rubber duckie, swimming suit, and shower cap.)_

**FARORE:**Never fails.Get in the bath and there's a rub at the Triforce._(Squeaks the duck.)_Hello._(Sees unconscious Link)_Link?Link!Kid, snap out of it!You can't cheat on this one!I can't help you unless you make a wish.You have to say, "Farore, I want you to save my life."Got it?Okay.C'mon Link!!_(She grabs Link by the shoulders and shakes him.He head goes up, then falls.)_I'll take that as a yes._(Head turns into a siren.)_Wooga!Wooga!_(Turns into a submarine.)_Up scope!_(She babbles something that sounds like German.On the surface, a giant water spout emerges, and lands on top of the cliff.Link reawakens and coughs the water out of his lungs.)_Don't you scare me like that!

**LINK:**Farore, I... uh, I... uh..._(He can't think of how to say it, so they just hug each other.)_Thanks, Farore.

**FARORE:**Oh, Link.I'm gettin' kind of fond of you, kid.Not that I want to pick out curtains or anything.

_(Cut to Zelda in her room, humming the song from the previous night and brushing her hair.The King appears in one of the double doors, hypnotized.)_

**KING:**Zelda!

**ZELDA:**Oh, father... I just had the most wonderful time.I'm so happy.

**KING:**_(Still monotone from the hypnosis)_You should be, Zelda.I have chosen a husband for you.

**ZELDA:**What?

**KING:**_(The other door opens and reveals Ganondorf.)_You will wed Ganondorf.

_(Zelda gasps at the sight of him.)_

**GANONDORF:**You're speechless, I see.A fine quality in a wife.

**ZELDA:**I will never marry you._(She goes to the King.)_Father, I choose Prince Linqui!

**GANONDORF:**Prince Linqui left!

_(A quick pan finds Link standing in the doorway to the balcony.)_

**LINK:**Better check your crystal ball again, Ganondorf!

**ZELDA:**Prince Linqui!

_(Ganondorf gasps at the sight of Link.)_

**KAEPORA:**How in the he... uh, hoot!

**LINK:**Tell them the truth, Ganondorf!You tried to have me killed.

**GANONDORF:**What?_(He goes to the King.)_Ridiculous nonsense, your highness.He is obviously lying._(He brings the staff close to the King's face.)_

**KING:**Obviously lying.

_(Link sees the staff with its glowing eyes.)_

**ZELDA:**Father, what's wrong with you?

**LINK:**I know!

_(Link grabs the staff and smashes it on the floor.Ganondorf flinches and the spell is broken for good.)_

**KING:**Oh, oh, oh my!

**LINK:**Your highness, Ganondorf's been controlling you with this!_(He advances the staff.)_

**KING:**What?Ganondorf?You, you traitor!

_(The trio advance on Ganondorf.)_

**GANONDORF:**Your majesty, all of this can be explained.

**KING:**Guards!Guards!

**KAEPORA:**Well, that's it... we're dead, forget about it.Just dig a grave for both of us.We're dead.

_(Ganondorf sees the Triforce in Link's pocket.He makes a move, but is grabbed by guards.)_

**KING:**Arrest Ganondorf at once.

**GANONDORF:**This is not done yet, boy!

_(Ganondorf pulls a Deku Nut from his pocket.Link sees this and rushes him, but Ganondorf throws it to the floor.A large bright flash appears.When it is gone, so is Ganondorf.)_

**KING:**Find him, search everywhere!

**LINK:**Zelda, are you all right?

**ZELDA:**Yes.

_(They lean in to kiss, but the King barges between them.)_

**KING:**Ganondorf, my most trusted counselor, plotting against me all this time.Just horrible.How will I ever..._(He stops in mid sentence and looks at the pair.)_Can it be true?My daughter has finally chosen a suitor?_(She nods.)_Ha, ha!Praise Nayru!You brilliant boy, I could kiss you!I won't... I'll leave that to my...You two will be wed at once!Yes, yes.And you'll be happy and prosperous, and then you will be king!

**LINK:**King?

**KING:**Yes, a fine upstanding youth like yourself, a person of your impeccable moral character is exactly what this kingdom needs!_(Link looks concerned by this.)_


	14. The Exchange of Power

Hyrulian Nights

Hyrulian Nights

Scene 13:The Exchange of Power

_(Cut to inside Ganondorf's chambers.Ganondorf and Kaepora enter.)_

**KAEPORA:**We gotta get outta here!We gotta get...I gotta start packing, your highness.Only essentials._(Kaepora starts throwing things out of his cage.Ganondorf smiles broadly.)_Travel light!Bring the guns, the weapons, the knives, _(Stops and takes out a picture of himself and Ganondorf)_ and how about this picture?I don't know... I think I'm making a weird face in it._(Ganondorf starts to laugh wildly.)_Oh, boy, he's gone nuts.He's cracked._(Kaepora flies down to him and knocks on his head.)_Ganondorf?Ganondorf?Get a grip, Ganondorf!_(Ganondorf grabs him around the neck.)_Good grip!

**GANONDORF:**Prince Linqui is nothing more than that ragged urchin Link.He has the Triforce, Kaepora.

**KAEPORA:**Why that miserable...

**GANONDORF:**But you are going to relieve him of it!

**KAEPORA:**Me?

_(Cut to outside the palace.Link is looking at the gardens.)_

**LINK:**King?They want me to be king?

_(Farore comes out of Triforce.)_

**FARORE:**Huzzah!Hail the conquering hero!_(Turns into a one-man band.She sees Link walk away with his head hung.She stops, scratches her head, comes up with an idea, and zooms over to Link.She holds up her hands like a director scoping a picture and we look through them.)_Link, you've just won the heart of the princess.What are you gonna do next?_(Link looks at him, then walks away in sadness to the bed, where he falls on it and sighs.Farore again is confused, then goes to him and pulls out a script labeled "Hyrulian Nights."Whispering.)_Psst, your line is, "I'm going to free Farore."Anytime.

**LINK:**Farore... I can't.

**FARORE:**Sure you can._(She grabs Link's head and uses him as a mock ventriloquist's dummy.)_You just go "Farore, I wish you free."_(Link pulls away.)_

**LINK:**I'm serious.Look, I'm sorry... I really am.But they want to make me king...no!They want to make Prince Linqui king.Without you, I'm just Link.

**FARORE:**Link, you won!

**LINK:**Because of you!The only reason anyone thinks I'm anything is because of you.What if they find out I'm not really a prince?_(Quietly)_What if Zelda finds out?I'll lose her.Farore, I can't keep this up on my own.I can't wish you free.

**FARORE:**_(Sarcastically)_Hey, I understand.After all, you've lied to everyone else.Hey, I was beginning to feel left out.Now, if you'll excuse me, master._(She says the last word in disgust, then poofs back into the Triforce.)_

_(Navi and Carpet are watching from the window.)_

**NAVI:**Ohhh.

**LINK:**Farore, I'm really sorry._(A tongue comes out of the middle triangle and raspberries him.)_Well, fine._(He slams a pillow on top of the Triforce.)_Then just stay in there!_(He looks at Navi and Carpet.)_What are you guys looking at?_(They both leave.)_Look, I... I'm sorry.Wait, Navi... wait...I'm sorry, I didn't... wait, c'mon._(He sighs.)_What am I doing?Farore's right... I gotta tell Zelda the truth.

**ZELDA:**_(From a distance)_Linqui, oh Linqui… will you come here?

**LINK:**_(Putting on his cap)_Well, here goes._(He walks into the garden.)_Zelda?Where are you?

_(We see Kaepora wearing a beak and standing on stilts next to a flamingo in the pond.He is imitating Zelda's voice.)_

**KAEPORA:**Ahem... in the menagerie, hurry.

**LINK:**I'm coming.

_(We see Link hurry past, not noticing the birds.Kaepora laughs, then turns back and looks into the face of a flamingo, who is panting.)_

**FLAMINGO:**D'uh!

**KAEPORA:**Ya got a problem, pinky?_(He sweeps the bird's feet out from under it.Kaepora runs into the palace and finds the Triforce under the pillow.)_Boy, Ganondorf's gonna be happy to see you!_(Stretches his face like Ganondorf and imitates him.)_Good work, Kaepora!_(Normal)_Ah, go on._(Ganondorf)_No, really... on a scale of one to ten, you are an eleven!_(Normal)_Ah, Ganondorf, you're too kind.I'm embarrassed, I'm blushing._(He flies away with the Triforce.)_

_(Cut to the palace entrance.The King is standing on top, making an announcement to the people.)_

**KING:**People of Hyrule, my daughter has finally chosen a suitor!

_(Cut to behind the curtain, where Zelda is peeking.Link appears at the bottom of the stairs.)_

**LINK:**Zelda?

**ZELDA:**Linqui, where have you been?

**LINK:**There's something I've got to tell you.

**ZELDA:**The whole kingdom has turned out for father's announcement!

**LINK:**No!But Zelda, listen to me, please!

**ZELDA:**Good luck!_(She pushes him out onto the platform with the King, where he overlooks the entire crowd.)_

**KING:**Linqui Sarasrahla!

**LINK:**Oh, boy...

_(Far above, Kaepora and Ganondorf watch through a window.)_

**KAEPORA:**Look at them, cheering that little pipsqueak.

**GANONDORF:**Let them cheer.

_(He lifts the Triforce and rubs it.Farore comes out.)_

**FARORE:**You know Link, I'm getting _(turns and sees Ganondorf)_ really...I don't think you're him._(She descends and consults a playbill.)_Tonight, the role of Link will be played by a tall, dark, and sinister ugly man.

**GANONDORF:**I am your master now._(He throws Farore to the ground and puts his foot on her face.)_

**FARORE:**I was afraid of that.

**GANONDORF:**Goddess, grant me my first wish.I wish to rule on high, as king!


	15. Ganondorf's Revenge

Hyrulian Nights

Hyrulian Nights

Scene 14:Ganondorf's Revenge

_(Cut to outside where dark clouds circle the castle.The castle shakes.The roof rips off and the King and Link duck.)_

**LINK:**Whoa!

**KING:**Bless my soul.What is this?What is going on?

(His crown lifts off his head.When he grabs it, his whole body flies up, then he is stripped of all his clothing except his boxer shorts.The clothing reappears on Ganondorf.)

**GANONDORF:**Heh, heh, heh!

**KING:**Ganondorf, you vile betrayer!

**KAEPORA:**That's King Vile Betrayer to you.

**LINK:**Oh, yeah?Well, we'll just see about that!_(Pulls off his own cap, but finds it empty.)_The Triforce!

**GANONDORF:**Finders keepers, Sarasbahba.

_(They both look up and see a giant Farore, now appearing as Din, lifting the castle into the clouds.Link whistles and Carpet flies up to greet her.They fly up near Din's head.)_

**LINK:**Farore!No!

**DIN:**Sorry, kid... I'm got a new master now._(She places the palace on top ofa mountain.)_

**KING:**Ganondorf, I order you to stop!

**GANONDORF:**There's a new order now... my order!Finally, you will bow to me!

_(The King bows, but Zelda does not.)_

**ZELDA:**We'll never bow to you!

**KAEPORA:**Why am I not surprised?

**GANONDORF:**If you will not bow before a king, then you will cower before a sorcerer!_(To Din)_Din, my second wish... I wish to be the most powerful sorcerer in the world!

_(Din extends her finger.Link tries to stop her, but he cannot, and a lightning bolt strikes Ganondorf, returning him to his normal look.)_

**KAEPORA:**Ladies and gentleman, a warm Hyrule welcome for Sorcerer Ganondorf!

**GANONDORF:**Now where were we?Ah, yes... abject humiliation!_(He zaps Zelda and the King with his staff, and they both bow to him.Impa comes running at him.He zaps Impa, and the wolfos turns into a household wolf.)_Down, girl!_(Lifts Zelda's chin with his staff)_Oh princess, there's someone I'm dying to introduce you to.

**LINK:**_(off-camera)_Ganondorf!Get your hands off her!

_(Ganondorf zaps Link.Carpet flies away.)_

**GANONDORF:**_(singing)_

Prince Linqui, yes, it is he, but not as you know him.

Read my lips and come to grips with reality.

_(Ganondorf brings the two of them closer in the air.)_

Yes, meet a blast from your past

Whose lies were too good to last

Say hello to your precious Prince Linqui!

_(Ganondorf zaps Linqui back into Link.)_

**KAEPORA:**Or should we say Link?

**LINK:**Zelda, I tried to tell you.

**GANONDORF:**So Linqui turns out to be just a faerie boy

Just a con, need I go on?Take it from me.

His personality flaws

Give me adequate cause

To send him packing on a one-way trip

So his prospects take a terminal dip

His assets frozen, the venue chosen

Is the ends of the earth, whoopee!

So long,

**KAEPORA:**Good bye, see ya!

**GANONDORF:**Ex-Prince Linqui!

_(Ganondorf has zapped Navi back to normal.He sends the two of them into a tall pillar, then launches it like a rocket, but not before Carpet can get in.Fade to black.Then cut to Snowhead, where the pillar crashes and rolls.It finally comes to a stop.Link emerges, obviously very cold.)_

**LINK:**Navi?Navi!_(He looks back at a shivering pile of snow.)_Oh, this is all my fault... I should have freed Farore when I had the chance._(He digs out Navi and cradles her inside his vest.)_I'm sorry, Navi... I made a mess of everything, somehow.I gotta go back and set things right._(He starts to walk through the snow and eventually steps on a frozen Carpet.)_Carpet!_(He looks up and sees Carpet is pinned by the pillar.He tugs to try and free Carpet.He can't do it, so he begins to remove snow from the base of the pillar.)_Navi, start digging!That's it!_(Finally, enough snow has been removed, and the pillar beings to roll.Link runs away, looks back, then slides into place.The pillar rolls over him, and when it is gone, Link and Navi are left sitting in the patch of snow made by the window of the pillar.)_Yeah!All right!_(Navi clings to Link's head as Carpet shakes off the snow and rushes over to pick them up.)_Now, back to Hyrule!Let's go!


	16. The Final Battle

Hyrulian Nights

Hyrulian Nights

Scene 15:The Final Battle

_(We cut back to an outside shot of Hyrule, shrouded in red clouds.Cut to inside the castle and a slow zoom of the throne room.Kaepora has the King tied up like a marionette, and Zelda is chained next to the throne.)_

**KAEPORA:**Puppet ruler want a cracker?Here's your cracker.Shove 'em all right down your throat.Here, have lots!

_(Ganondorf pulls the chain, and Zelda walks up to him holding an apple.)_

**ZELDA:**Leave him alone!

_(Kaepora stops for a second, then continues.)_

**GANONDORF:**It pains me to see you reduced to this, Zelda._(He takes a bite out of the apple she is holding.)_A beautiful Hylian bloom such as yourself should be on the arm of the most powerful man in the world._(He waves his finger, and a crown appears.)_What do you say, my dear?Why, with you as my queen...

_(Zelda picks up a glass of wine and throws it in his face.)_

**ZELDA:**Never!

**GANONDORF:**I'll teach you some respect!_(She falls back as he raises his hand to slap her.Then he stops.)_No.Din, I have decided to make my final wish.I wish for Princess Zelda to fall desperately in love with me.

_(We see Link race back into town.)_

**DIN:**_(Again as Buckley)_Ah, master... there are a few addendas, some quid pro quo...

**GANONDORF:**Don't talk back to me, you stupid red lout!You will do what I order you to do, slave!

_(Zelda looks up and sees Link in the window, motioning her to play along.)_

**ZELDA:**_(She stands and puts the crown on her head.)_Ganondorf!I never realized how incredibly handsome you are.

_(Din's jaw drops.)_

**GANONDORF:**That's better._(He pulls Din's jaw up like a shade.)_Now pussycat, tell me more about... myself.

**ZELDA:**You're tall, well-dressed...

_(Ganondorf walks over to her.Link jumps down with Navi and Din sees them.)_

**DIN:**Link!Link, little buddy!

**LINK:**Shh!

**DIN:**_(Literally zips her mouth shut, then unzips it.)_Link, I can't help you; I work for señor psychopath, now._(Her heads turns into Ganondorf's, then back.)_

**LINK:**Hey... I'm a faerie boy, remember?_(He rezips Din's mouth.)_I'll improvise.

_(He slides down a pile of coins and hides close to Ganondorf and Zelda.Ganondorf's back is to Link.)_

**GANONDORF:**Go on.

**ZELDA:**And your sideburns... are so... red!_(She has her arms around him.She secretly motions for Link to come over.He makes his move.Kaepora sees him.)_

**KAEPORA:**Gan...mmmmm!_(Navi grabs him and covers his mouth.)_

**GANONDORF:**And the faerie boy?

**ZELDA:**What faerie boy?

_(They are about to kiss when Kaepora manages to knock over a bowl.Ganondorf turns to look, but Zelda grabs him back and kisses him.Link looks disgusted.Kaepora and Navi look disgusted.)_

**NAVI:**Yuck!

**GANONDORF:**That was... _(He sees Link's reflection in her crown.)_You!How many times do I have to kill you, boy?

_(He zaps Link.Zelda rushes him, and he throws her to the ground.Link rushes and grabs the staff.)_

**LINK:**Get the Triforce!

_(Zelda runs for it.Ganondorf, however, shakes off Link, then zaps her into an hourglass.)_

**GANONDORF:**Ah, ah, ah, princess... Your time is up!

_(Sand begins to fall from the top onto her.)_

**LINK:**Zelda!

**KAEPORA:**Oh, nice shot, Gan... _(He is knocked out by Navi.)_

_(Navi rushes for the Triforce.)_

**GANONDORF:**A faerie in a bottle!_(She's zapped within a glass bottle.)_

**LINK:**Navi!

_(Carpet rushes in.)_

**GANONDORF:**Things are unraveling fast, now boy._(Carpet is zapped and unravels.Link again rushes for the Triforce.)_Get the point?_(His path is blocked by large swords sticking in the floor.Ganondorf grabs the Triforce and laughs hideously, while Link pulls the Master Sword out of the floor.)_I'm just getting warmed up!_(He breathes a ring of fire around Link.)_

**LINK:**Are you afraid to fight me yourself, you sick pig?

**GANONDORF:**A pig, am I?Perhaps you'd like to see how pig-like I can be!_(He smiles broadly, and then turns into Ganon.He enters the ring of fire, and Ganon makes moves on Link.On the third try, Link swings the Master Sword and hits Ganon.Cut to Din cheerleaders wearing 'L' sweaters.)_

**DIN:**Rickem, rockem, rackem, rig... stick that sword into that pig!

**GANONDORF:**You stay out of this!

_(Din waving a tiny pennant with a 'G' on it.)_

**DIN:**_(Weakly)_ Ganon, Ganon, he's our man... if he can't do it, great!

_(Link uses the distraction to make a break for the hourglass where Zelda is trapped.However, Ganon sees this and blocks the path.Link is thrown away, and he loses the Master Sword.)_

**ZELDA:**Link!

_(Link jumps on a large gem and slides across the floor, grabbing the sword on his way.He turns a corner, but the pursuing pig cannot, and the front half of Ganon crashes through a wall and hangs outside the castle.Link jumps up on the pig's back and stabs it.Ganon screams in agony.Link again tries to free the princess.)_

**LINK:**Hang on, Zelda!

_(He is about to hit the glass with his sword when Ganon grabs him.)_

**GANON:**_(laughs hideously)_You little fool!You thought you could defeat the most powerful being on earth!?

**KAEPORA:**_(with Din coming up behind him)_Cut his head off, Ganon!Cut his head off like a... hoot!_(Din elbows him out of the way.)_

**GANON:**Without the goddess, boy, you're nothing!

**LINK:**_(Has an idea)_The goddess!The goddess!The goddess has more power than you'll ever have!

**GANON:**What!?

**LINK:**She gave you your power; she can take it away!

**DIN:**Link, what are you doing?Why are you bringing me into this?

**LINK:**Face it, Ganon... you're still just second best!

**GANON:**You're right!Her power does exceed my own!But not for long!

_(Ganon approaches Din.)_

**DIN:**The boy is crazy.He's a little punch drunk.One too many hits with the pig._(Her hand turns into a pig and she hits her head with her hand.)_

**GANON:**Slave, I make my third wish!I wish to be an all-powerful god!

**DIN:**_(Reluctantly)_All right, your wish is my command.Way to go, Link.

_(Din zaps Ganon with a lightning bolt.Ganon's pig form dissipates and he turns into a god.We see Zelda's raised hand disappear under the sand.Link runs over and finally smashes the glass.Sand and Zelda pour out.)_

**GANONDORF:**Yes!Yes!The power!The absolute power!

**ZELDA:**_(to Link)_What have you done?

**LINK:**Trust me!

_(A black Triforce appears at Ganondorf's feet.Ganondorf is busy conjuring.)_

**GANONDORF:**The universe is mine to command, to control!

**LINK:**Not so fast, Ganondorf!Aren't you forgetting something?_(Ganondorf looks down questioningly.)_You wanted to be a god, you got it!And everything that goes with it!

_(Shackles appear on Ganondorf's wrists.)_

**GANONDORF:**No!No!

**KAEPORA:**I'm gettin' out of here!Come on, you're the god, I don't want...

_(Kaepora tries to fly away, but is sucked in with Ganondorf.)_

**LINK:**Phenomenal cosmic powers!Itty bitty living space.

**DIN:**Link, you little genius, you!

_(The bottle around Navi disappears, the Carpet re-ravels, and Zelda, the King, and Impa are standing together.Impa jumps up into the arms of the King when they are all transformed.The King is crushed because of the weight of Impa.Din once again becomes Farore.The palace reappears where it used to be in the city.Link is left holding the dark Triforce.)_

**GANONDORF:**_(From inside the Triforce)_Get your blasted beak out of my face!

**KAEPORA:**_(From inside the Triforce)_Oh, shut up, you moron!

**GANONDORF:**Don't tell me to shut up!

**FARORE:**Allow me._(She takes the Triforce and goes to the balcony.She is now wearing a baseball cap.She winds up as if to throw the Triforce, but opens up her palm flat and flicks it out into the desert with her finger.)_Ten thousand years in the Evil Realm ought to chill them out!

_(Ganondorf and Kaepora continue to argue as they fade out.)_


	17. Link's Final Wish

Hyrulian Nights

Hyrulian Nights

Scene 16:Link's Final Wish

_(Zelda walks over to Link.They hold hands, but both look sad.)_

**LINK:**Zelda, I'm sorry I lied to you about being a prince.

**ZELDA:**I know why you did.

**LINK:**Well, I guess... this... is goodbye?_(Farore pokes her head around the corner shocked at what she is hearing.)_

**ZELDA:**Oh, that stupid law.This isn't fair... I love you.

**FARORE:**_(Wipes away a tear)_Link, no problem.You've still got one wish left.Just say the word and you're a prince again.

**LINK:**But Farore, what about your freedom?

**FARORE:**Hey, it's only an eternity of servitude.This is love._(She leans down next to Zelda.)_Link, you're not gonna find another girl like her in a million years.Believe me, I know.I've seen.

**LINK:**Zelda, I do love you, but I've got to stop pretending to be something I'm not.

**ZELDA:**I understand.

_(They take one final look into each other's eyes, then Link turns to Farore.)_

**LINK:**Farore, I wish for your freedom.

**FARORE:**One bona fide prince pedigree coming up.I... what?

**LINK:**_(He holds the Triforce up to Farore.)_Farore, you're free!

_(A transformation scene ensues, in which the shackles fall off Farore's wrists, and the Triforce falls uselessly to the ground.She picks it up and looks at it.)_

**FARORE:**_(She can't believe it.)_Heh, heh.I'm free.I'm free!_(She hands the Triforce to Link.)_Quick, quick, wish for something outrageous.Say "I want Lake Hylia."Wish for Lake Hylia!Try that!

**LINK:**I wish for Lake Hylia.

**FARORE:**No way!!_(Laughs hysterically and bounces around the balcony like a pinball.)_Oh does that feel good!I'm free!I'm free at last!I'm hittin' the road.I'm off to see the world!I...

_(She is packing a suitcase, but looks down and sees Link looking very sad.)_

**LINK:**Farore, I'm... I'm gonna miss you.

**FARORE:**Me too, Link.No matter what anybody says, you'll always be a prince to me.

_(They hug.The King steps forward.)_

**KING:**That's right.You've certainly proved your worth as far as I'm concerned. It's that law that's the problem.

**ZELDA:**Father?

**KING:**Well, am I king or am I king?From this day forth, the princess shall marry whomever she deems worthy.

**ZELDA:**_(She smiles widely and runs into Link's arms.)_Him!I choose...I choose you, Linkachu!

**LINK:**Ha, ha.Call me Link.

_(They are about to kiss when Farore's hands pull everybody together.Farore is decked out in a Hawaiian shirt with golf clubs and a Mario hat.)_

**FARORE:**Oh, all of ya.Come over here.Big group hug!Mind if I kiss the faerie?_(She kisses Navi, and coughs.)_Ooh, wings!Well, I can't do any more damage around this popsicle stand.I'm outta here!Bye, bye, you two crazy lovebirds.Hey, Rug man, ciao!I'm history!No, I'm mythology!No, I don't care what I am... I'm free!

_(Farore flies up into the blue sky leaving a trail of sparkles behind her.They cut to fireworks exploding over a nightscape.We tilt down and see Link and Zelda flying on Carpet.)_

**LINK:**_(singing)_A whole new world

**ZELDA:**A whole new life

**BOTH:**_(with off-camera chorus)_For you and me!

**CHORUS:**A whole new world!

_(They fly off into the moonlight, and after they have disappeared, the moon turns and reveals Farore's laughing face.Suddenly, the film is grabbed "off the projector", Farore lifts it up and looks out at the audience.)_

**FARORE:**Made ya look!

_(Drops the film back to normal, with the normal moon.Fade to black.)_

The End


End file.
